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Also, this and my Pink_RAZ nic are both me, and my name is Lisa. You all might know me as Lisa.M.F or Nutmeg or LisaMichelle or DeviousHoney or SilentOrchid. But all you have to do is ask me if its me, I will tell you. I dont need to hide..

My name is Lisa Michelle. I was named after the Cat Stevens song : Sad Lisa. The song is about a troubled girl, no one can see and no one can help. She is troubled, lonely, sad, and alone in the dark. Funny how sometimes what you are named after becomes more or less a prediction on your life. I have an easy time making friends, but a hard time keeping them. I push everyone away. I find small flaws in people and grandeure them so that it makes it ok in my mind to push them away, and satisfy myself with the fact that they were never my friend in the first place. I'm smug and defiant, and stubborn. BUT I recognize it now, and maybe that is the first step to making it not so. I came "here" over 5 years ago to make friends... because in real life? I am lonely, and interenet makes me feel less lonely. In "here" I can find people I identify with. There is a great poem, someone showed me a long time ago that discribes this perfectly:

Friends Without Faces

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens
We can't help but wonder what all of this means.
With mouse in hand...we roam through this maze,
On an infinite search...lost in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes
At times we'll band together to gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody, to type out our name
We want recognition, but it is always the same.

Soon friendships are formed - but - why we don't know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.
We give kisses and hugs, and sometimes we'll flirt,
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.

Why is it on screen, we are so easily bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell,
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.

We can't tell real people, but tell someone we must
So we turn to our 'puters...and to those we can trust.
Even though it sounds crazy...the truth still remains,
Most of my "friends" have no faces...and odd little names.

...Author Unknown

now.. whats more true then that????

I like to surf the net, look at pictures, read poetry, write poetry, sing off key to songs no one likes, read.

Consumed

It’s even in the quietest moments
When my thoughts
At last
Can become my own

It’s at those times
My mind drifts backwards
Into
On to
Thoughts of you.

Things we’ve done
Plans we’ve made
An upset thought
At an angry time
Times I cried
And you did too…
A moment of laughter
And wicked times past.

But
Mostly of the words we shared
Of laughter and love
Of passion and pain
And so, it’s in those quietest moments
When my thoughts
Become my own
It’s then
I realize
My thoughts of you
Never
Left.


~♥ Lisa Michelle F. Jan 5/05

CIGARETTES ~ THE WRECKERS

The radio\'s playing
Old country songs
Someone\'s leaving, someone\'s cheating
On and on

I think I might like
The quiet nights
Of this empty life

\'Cause someday maybe
Somebody will love me like I need
And someday I won\'t have to prove
\'Cause somebody will see
All my worth but until then
I\'ll do just fine on my own
With my cigarettes
And this old dirt road

See I left another
Good man tonight
I wonder if he\'ll miss me
Lord knows I tried

But I think that maybe
The thing that I did wrong
Was put up with his ********
For far too long

I think I might like
The quiet nights
Of this empty life

I ain\'t gonna sleep
I ain\'t gonna dream
About the things that I used to need
I ain\'t gonna cry
Or go on living lies
I\'m just gonna drive

isnt this answered under INTERESTS? .. or is it just me?

Something I like least of all is being hurt by people that I care for. Being sucked in time and time again by people that I want to trust. That I want to love. But they make something so simple difficult. People say I need to guard myself better, and trust less.....
but if I did that, I wouldnt be me now would I??

I hate playing petty games, and watching petty games be played. We all have our week moments and our upset moments, and I've always thought that internet chat rooms are the worst place for misunderstandings to happen, as you only see one part of the picture, you dont see a persons eyes, facial expressions and you really dont know the person well.... so alot of times... things are taken wrong and many things get twisted, and turned into big deals. I hate it.
I hate fighting... I hate watching fights....
I hate being a drama queen
and I hate liver. Gross.